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Have you ever avoided talking to a woman just because she was talking to another guy?

Or maybe you avoided approaching a group of girls with one or two guys with them because you feared embarrassment just because you ASSUMED that those guys were cooler than you.

There are two reasons why guys have a fear in talking with women who were with other guys.

Most guys when they saw the girl being with another guy, they think it is her boyfriend.

This isn’t a real reason to not talk to a woman, especially in a bar - it’s a social setting where people meet other people. Plus - she’s not his “slave” - she’s a human being, not a piece of property, so she is free to talk to whomever she chooses.

Approaching oftenly a woman who is “with” a guy can make you look more confident, and draw out the jealous side of the guy, making him look insecure and weak.

The other reason guys don’t approach women with other men points to a deep insecurity based on a simple misconception.

Men tend to be threatened by other men, instantly assuming that the “other guy” is stronger, cooler, or somehow more powerful.

This comes from an ancient survival strategy that had been fixed into human brain.

It’s often hard to tell who the more “dominant” human is in any given interaction. The social hierarchy is very subtle, and mostly unconscious. So when a male is confronted by another male, he doesn’t know how dominant the other guy is.

As was probably common thousands of years ago, a guy doesn’t know if he will be embarrassed verbally.

So it’s better to play safe by assuming that the other guy is a threat. Guys that were too bold may have won a few confrontations, but it will take a single loss to end up dead or exiled from the game.

And then their genes were taken out of the “race” so to speak.

So the guys who played it safe, and avoided confrontation usually lived long enough to reproduce and survive.

The irony is that nowadays this hard-wired survival strategy is the basis for most approach anxiety - men makes a false assumptions that will lead them to avoid approaching women unnecessarily.

Here is the thing, mostly when you see a girl talking to another guy in the club or bar, she’s not WITH him.

Usually, they JUST MET!

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve approached a woman thinking she was “with” a guy, only to find out he was some random dude who just approached her. Or he was just a friend or relative.

I think of all the times I completely avoided talking to a woman because I saw her with another guy. I regret having missed so many opportunities. Which brings me to my first point:

YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT HE MEANS TO HER. DON’T ASSUME THEY ARE TOGETHER UNTIL YOU SEE PHYSICAL EVIDENCE.

Approach a woman so that you will know what they really are. Just remember to be alert and respectful, because in the off chance they are together, the guy may be the insecure jealous type and start a physical confrontation.

So use your head - just don’t limit your options by making false assumptions.